Paper Altars

Since being in church since the third day of my life (legit), I’ve heard about God’s love a lot. Yet still, it is one of the hardest things for my heart to accept. Intellectually, I get it. God loves us, always has, always will. He sent Jesus for our sins so we could be reconciled to Him. That’s awesome!

But my heart? She’s fickle. Some days she believes those truths, and other days she’s convinced its somehow all a farse.

How could I deserve that?

I’m not good enough.

How can he give that to me?

Why would he even want to?

In my limited understanding, and in my humanness, I have gone through seasons of understanding God’s love incorrectly. I thought I would share these versions of incorrect love – because if I struggle with this, maybe others do too, and maybe we can examine truths together to refute these false loves.

1. Earned Love – This one is common in many Christians who have sat in pews since birth. The thought is, “If I act right, work hard, do things well, then God will love me and be pleased with me.” I lived in this kind of “love” most of my adolescent life.

Earned love is so dangerous, it is also known as legalism.

It’s Pharisaical. To obey the law without knowing who it is the law is about!

It’s performative. To do all the right things without having a heart transformed.

It’s transactional. Salvation in exchange for good works. And damnation for mistakes. Salvation is not secure.

2. Reluctant Love – Thoughts I had while understanding God’s love in this way: “Gosh I am always messing up. I’ll never get it right. But I guess God’s still here. I guess he’ll pull me out again. Ugh, I don’t want to go to him, surely he is so upset and disappointed with me.”

Do you see it? How, in this mindset, God doesn’t want to give his love. He’s stingy and almost forced to extend his hand to stupid, messed-up me. He’s ready to condemn and poised to expose my flaws.

Reluctant love is also dangerous. It leaves us in a defeated heart-posture. Receiving reluctant love makes us reluctant to go to the Father. It makes us incapable of growth, pressed under a harsh thumb and leering eye, terrified of moving in any direction.

3. Pity Love – This one’s probably my least favorite. It goes something like, “Awe, it’s so adorable she’s always stumbling. Truly, I feel sorry for her. It’s a good thing she’s got me, otherwise she’d be absolutely helpless.”

With this “love”, our self-image is so belittled. Our confidence is so shattered. We are incompetent, bumbling sheep. God is contempt with our idiocracy, and condescends while seeming endearing.

All these “loves” are all SO wrong. The way God truly sees you is so beautiful. God WANTS to love you.

It is not to get obedience out of you. It is not transactional. It is not earned.

It is not because He has to. It is not to heap shame on you. It is not reluctant.

It is not false charity. It is not to make you feel less than. It is not out of pity.

God cherishes you the way a shepherd does his found lamb (Matt. 18). God longs for you the way a Father desperately waits on his wayward son to return home (Luke 15). God sees you as intrinsically valuable because he formed you and made you before he even laid the foundations of the earth (Isaiah 6). God cares for you more deeply than creation (Matt. 6). Nothing can separate you from his love, not angels or demons, not life or death, no force can stop his love (Rom. 8 ). May we understand how wide, how deep, how long, how great his love is, though it is too great to comprehend (Eph. 3)

How we receive love tells us a lot about our heart and our own self-image. Our hearts need to be transformed by truth found in God’s Word. Here’s the thing: Walking in the Word is work! But it allows our heart and our self-image to be formed by the Word of Life, by the Word of Truth. We desperately need to hide these truths in our heart, because the enemy is prowling around, looking to steal, kill and destroy. Our hearts are a battleground, and they are easily decieved. May we inform our hearts with the truth, may we fortify our souls with Holy Spirit, may we fill our minds with life!

So, no matter what kind of love you most identify with in this text, I hope today you can hear and know you are SO LOVED my the most high God. He sent Jesus to die for your sins, so you can be reconciled to the Father, through the Son. He’s known you since before the world began. He longs for you. He cares for you deeply. He wants you. Truly, he loves you.